“There is nothing like a dream to create the future.” -Victor Hugo

Quite a few things have happened and I have been too lazy to record it. Yikes.

In short:

  • I booked the same fashion show as last year at a local community college. However, the venue is different and can hold over 1,00, as opposed to  last year’s 60. I haven’t met the designer yet, which makes me concerned because the event is in 3 weeks. 
  • I have a call back for a student film in 4 days. I still need to memorize the script. And print it out.
  • My mom wrote a book this past year and was on our local news doing a promotion for it. While we were there, Guy Fieri was there doing a cooking special right before us. We got to meet him as he was leaving. Also, a woman named Luenell was there doing a spot for her comedy. She is an actress with over 30 credits, including Taken 2, Hotel Transylvania, Borat, and The Rock. We got our picture with her. Awesome!
  • I might be in A Midsummer’s Night Dream. I’m not sure what company it is, but my friend is hooking me up. I don’t even know what it is about.
  • I am looking for a second summer job. Forever 21 is still giving me about 8 hours a week. This isn’t cutting it anymore. I need at least 20 hours a week. I need to be able to pay for groceries and gas. Not only enough gas to get to and from work.
  • I was going to audition for Beauty and the Beast in the next town, but they couldn’t get the funding. Then I heard they are going to do Rent. I don’t know, but I am really bummed about cancelling the show.
  • School is wrapping up. I have 1 more week and then a week of finals. I have a 10 page script for my acting class, a 10 page research/analysis paper due on Tuesday in my English class, and the final for my English class left.
  • I found out I can’t move out unless I work am a full time student. That wouldn’t be a problem but I would need to work full time at the same time to stay afloat. I can’t do both. If I move out, I loose my medical insurance. Looks like I’m not moving to Los Angeles any time soon. I don’t understand how other people did it on no money.
  • I made a facebook page for me. Go follow me. Just search Mckenna Hardy and it should be the first page to pop up.

That is my life, in short, from the last 2 weeks.

I can’t wait for summer. I just wish I had something to do.

I feel I need to get away from here. A week, a day, an hour. To Santa Cruz, San Francisco, Santa Monica, Malibu, Long Beach. Somewhere big, but relaxing. Maybe after school gets out. Get a group together and go somewhere for the day. This town is boring, entertainment wise.

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I have a few things I want to say and I want to say them all at the same time. I am in a really, really good mood. Like, really. 🙂

On Friday, we got a call from a woman who works on the Jeff Probst Show called us and told us they are finally airing our episode! August 21st, Wednesday. Over a year from when we filmed it… Jeez. It was that long ago? Last summer. And it is almost summer now. Time flies.

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Today, Saturday, was the first day the farmer’s market has been open for this season. Yey! So much yummy, organic, local fresh fruits and veggies! In total, we spent about $40. We being my older sister and I. Let’s see if I can remember what we bought. Arugula, 9 tomatoes, a loaf of honey wheat bread, a load of banana nut bread, a pound of pistachios, a pound of almonds, sun dried tomatoes, 2 onions, and 4 cucumbers. I bought some food on Thursday night at Food Maxx, so I also have a few mangoes, some bananas, and some strawberries (On sale for $1 a box). We were only there this morning and I swear, this stuff is so good, it’s going to be gone by Tuesday. Every last bit of it. I’m already almost out of strawberries, sun dried tomatoes, and both breads. I made an arugula, strawberry, EVOO, tomato, banana, almond salad for lunch and dinner. Giant ones. I had breakfast when I got home at about 11:30 and I made a sandwich with the honey wheat bread, EVOO, tomatoes, and arugula. That bread is the most amazing bread  I have ever had. I keep raving about the farmers market but this was the first time I have gone and actually bought food. I also want to give some insight on this aspect of shopping and food that many people don’t use to their advantage. I have been cleaning up my act and my food choices. I did a bit of research between Paleo, vegetarian, and vegan. I was going to do raw vegan, but I can’t afford a food processor/juicer. Vegetarian includes dairy, but I haven’t had dairy in like 2 months. I don’t think I will ever go back to consuming dairy products. I did some research about what’s really in milk and its so gross. So, I guess Paleo is the right choice for me. Paleo is also known as the caveman diet. It is basically vegan plus meat. You only eat what a caveman would. Fruits, veggies, and meat. I have been really good about it for like the past week or two.

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Earlier today, Saturday, I saw my friend in House at Pooh Corner at The Gallo Center and it was so cute! It was kinda weird because there were all these moms and dads with their 3-7 year old kids. And then there is my mom with her 20 year old daughter. But it was such a different experience with a younger audience. That and I had never actually seen a show in that theater. I have performed in 3 shows on that stage, though. At the end, the characters went into the lobby to take pictures with the kids and that was really cool. I know most of the cast, so it was great to see them interact with kids and perform in a totally different  type of show and atmosphere.

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So cute. I would totally see it over and over again. And again.

Besides getting that call from Jeff Probst’s people, the farmers market, and seeing a great show, my family, showcasing my mom, is going to be on the news in Sacramento news this coming week, Friday morning. My mom wrote a book and they are doing a story on it. All that plus getting an “A” on an English paper after not getting very good grades on the last 3 papers have put me in a super good mood. 🙂

Over and out.

“A positive attitude can really make dreams come true – it did for me.” -David Bailey

The last time I was in Los Angeles, I was the Queen of the Universe Pageant in Beverly Hills at the Saban Theater. While I was in rehearsals and backstage,w e had a film crew for behind the scenes footage. Here is a video from Infinity Media. I’m not sure if it is a teaser video or if this is all they are going to post. I love this video and I am excited by this. It actually got my heart racing and my adrenalin pumping when I saw it!

You can see me for a second here and there but the main one I saw was at 2:04, when I walk onto stage through a curtain in my champagne/blush evening gown.

“Sleep is the best meditation.” -Dalai Lama

So, this week has pretty much not been the best for me, but not horrible.

Tuesday- I thought that because I didn’t do my story on Thursday, I would go on Tuesday. I spend all weekend thinking of which story to tell. We didn’t do a part 2. We just didn’t get to go if we didn’t go on Thursday. We were supposed to have picked out a 3 minute monologue and show the teacher in class. I didn’t have one, so I picked a random one out of a book he had in class. We need half of it memorized by Thursday. Normally, he would give is like 4 weeks to memorize it. Nope. 1 week for this one. I have the hardest time memorizing things. My best friend usually drives us over to the other campus a few miles away for our next class, yoga. During acting, I got a text from her saying she was going to the ER because her side was hurting. So, I don’t have a ride to class and my best friend is in the ER and I have no idea why. I missed yoga class and hung out in my sisters choir class, which was actually awesome. I didn’t have anything to do, so I sang with them and stayed after class a bit to talk to friends I don’t normally see. (I almost want to ditch yoga every time just to see these people. I miss them!) I got home late, made dinner, and then went to my English class. It wasn’t that bad. We had our first presentation that preps us for the final in a month. We have 9 and I am doing one of them. I still haven’t turned in my essay I emailed to my professor last week. It counts as turned in, but he can’t grade it unless I give him a paper copy. I called my friend later that night and she found out she has a kidney infection. Yikes.

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Wednesday- I took my brother to the airport in the Bay Area. we left home at 3 and his flight left at 6. we got there with an hour for him to get though security. We got home at 6:45. My mom leaves at 6:30 to take kids to school, which starts at 7. They were still home and looked like they just woke up. And the car wasn’t in the drive way. My mom had to drop Dad off at work because we had his car and she needed the other one to take kids to school. As she was driving home, something happened to the car and it wouldn’t steer all of a sudden and would hardly move. She managed to pull into a parking lot and walked home. At 5:45 am. In the rain. For 1 1/2 miles. They had to wait until we got home before they could leave. They all missed their first class by the time they got to school. She got the car towed to the dealer. turns out the belt that moves the fluids in the engine broke. If she tried to drive the car all the way home, it would have completely ruined the engine. So, we figured out how to manage the money and finances and pay for it to get fixed. All $1,200 of it. For a simple belt. They have to take apart the engine to reach it. Any way. We got home and almost 7 and I went back to sleep at about 9. I woke up at 1 and started and finished the research for my English essay due next Tuesday. I showered and went to church. All we did was pass out fliers in the neighborhood behind the church. About half way through, about 4 fire trucks and 8 police cars speed by with sirens wailing and stop about a mile down the road. I have a bunch of 6 year olds with me in a sketchy neighborhood and now this. I look at the news and there is another standoff down the road. My town was in the news for one about 3 miles from my church for a standoff that ended in the guy setting his apartment on fire, committing suicide, and burning 4 apartments down.

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Thursday is a full day of classes, faking a monologue, and taking notes on two presentations.

Friday- I need to make up my yoga class. Then go to my school production of Grease. I’m excited for that. Oh, and I get paid. I hate to admit it, but I over drew my bank account two weeks ago. I’m waiting for my account to clear the fee so I can buy the Grease ticket and a ticket to see another show my friend is in. The second show is in April, but they are almost sold out. I’m even more excited to see that one than Grease.

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Saturday, I work 5pm-12am.

Monday- I have an audition for one-act plays at school. I kind of don’t want to, but it doesn’t hurt to try.

I have a monologue due tomorrow, a presentation due Tuesday next week, filming our monologues next Thursday, an essay due the week after that on Tuesday.

On Tuesday, my mom got a call from our agent. We had updated our pictures and stats on the websites and she was looking at them. She pretty much told us, in her own way, that because my sister and I are 2 inches too short to model, we don’t have a chance. Nobody will consider us for anything because the first thing they look at is our height, on our resumes. Basically, I don’t have a chance of being  a model. I kind of feel that she might drop us. She didn’t say it, but what else is she going to do. There’s no point of having a modeling contract if we can’t model. We are going to see if she can switch us to the acting division of the agency. You can be any body type to act.

So, right now I am trying to memorize 2 minutes worth of words, which is one of the hardest things for me. I’ve been typing the same sentences over and over for the last hour, and I only sort of have the first, of five, paragraph memorized. I am horribly tired. I slept 2 hours last night and then another 4 hours when I got home. I might just post this and go to sleep. I’ll try to wake up early and focus on this monologue again before class at 9:30.

I’m sorry if this post if all over the place and doesn’t make sense at times. I’ll try to do another update in a few days. See how things go.

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“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

I am really bummed right now. Really, really, really bummed. It is currently a time called “pilot season” in the film and T.V. industry. It is when they cast and film the pilots to new T.V. shows or seasons. Then they show then to the producers or executives to see if the show will stick so they can keep filming, usually an episode a week. My point is that right now, I should be going on many, many auditions. But as far as I know, I don’t have a single one on the line up. This sucks! Maybe it’s for a good reason I just don’t know. That’s what I am really hoping.

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About a week ago, I auditioned for a student film at the community college I go to. I was leaving acting class and I passed by the recording studio and saw my friend whom I know from the crew at Modesto Performing Arts. He was in charge of auditions for a film or short and wanted me to audition. I will pretty much audition for anything I can get my hands on if I don’t have an audience. It was just me and him and a camera. It doesn’t hurt to audition and try. What’s the worst that can happen? They say no. Well, you have a  no if you don’t audition. The best thing is they give you a role or, even better, write you a role. So I auditioned for a part and then he asked me to read a different role, because he has me in mind when he read through the script. That. Is. Awesome. I don’t care if I don’t get that part, or even a  part at all (Okay, I’m lying.), but just being though of as the right person for a specific role for anything means someone has confidence that I can portray a character and I am not forgotten as an actress (Even if it is my friend and it is a student film at a junior college). So, I should get a call in the next few weeks and it shoots over the first two months of summer.

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I was asked to do the fashion show at a college about an hour away, the same on this time last year. I still don’t have a date for the auditions yet. I guess that makes me nervous, only because I just like knowing these things when a person asks. I do have people from my acting class ask me if/when I have auditions and for what and where. I think it’s awesome.

Speaking of acting class, we are doing a story time where we have to talk about a time we were scared or frightened in our life. It’s to prepare us for a serious monologue, the next assignment. Most of the semester has been comical or only slightly serious. We’ve done the Shakespeare “Seven Ages of Man” and a 3 minute interactive scene with one other person, along with silly exercises. Most of the class went on Thursday with their story, but I haven’t gone yet. I’ll go on Tuesday and I have no idea what I am going to say. It got pretty emotional and there were some tears. Overall, my class is really good at telling stories. The ones that I’m thinking of aren’t long stories or hardly even a story. As I was listening to all these stories, I realized that, from the stories, fear/being scared is almost always present because you don’t know what’s going to happen next. What should you do, what should they do, are they going to live, am I going to live, go to jail, be alone. There were some really powerful stories told and you would never expect that person went through that.

My older sister did a project for one of her classes and she had to research diet myths and holy cow, I just about went vegan/raw diet. I still am in that I’ve stopped eating processed foods (mostly) and stopped dairy products (except for the few bites of chocolate ice cream a few nights ago). The thought of the diet change is everything I eat should be coming off God’s green Earth. Anything else is not good for you. Processed, chemicals, no. All your body needs is fruits, veggies, nuts, and meat.  Some may argue meat, but I think meat is acceptable, as long as there is no hormones and all that stuff than makes chickens twice as big, twice as fast. I haven’t been the best about my food choices, but it’s much better than before. The current food pyramid is so wrong. Fruits and veggies should make up like, 75% of your diet and the other 25% is proteins in nuts, beans, meat. Changing my diet, I’ve noticed my belly isn’t bloated and is flatter. I know, weird. It’s usually better in the morning and gets worse through the day. I’m working on it with exercise, though. Yoga twice a week. I’ve been eating lots of apples and oranges. Apples are on sale and we have an orange tree. Grapefruit is really good with a bit of sugar on it. (I think sugar is acceptable because it is natural. You just need to use it sparingly and in moderation.) I’ve been having longer shifts at work, so I usually make a peanut butter and strawberry or boysenberry preserve sandwich so I don’t have to buy Panda Express. However, PB and J sandwiches are also not healthy. Added sugar to all three products, and the bread is not in the diet thought.

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I updated my portfolio, but I haven’t put any on here yet. I’m happy with how they turned out, but not ecstatic. So, I am expecting a call for a student film, have an audition TBA, and am focusing on school.

I have some monologues picked out that I might record and post onto YouTube and on here. I’ve only recorded myself once and I’m not sure how I like it. I know I need to see what I look like, though. I have some short ones about 20 seconds to a minute and some longer ones about one to three minutes.  What do you think?

Oh, and today is my birthday. No longer a teenager. Now, I’m officially an adult, at 20. (Ew.)

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” -Denis Waitley

In acting class, we had been working on memorizing the monologue “Seven Ages of Man” from the play As You Like It by Shakespeare. It took us all semester to memorize it bit by bit. We were to create a character or do something while reciting it. I drew some posters to hold up on each age. I know, not very original, but it was all I could think of where I wouldn’t focus on the character so much that I forgot the words. Anyway, we were filmed and then the next class, we saw everybody’s performance. I was toward the first third of the class to go. I am proud to say I didn’t stop or forget my lines once; and I was the first person to not. I took notes on my and everybody’s performance. Just general notes to remember. Thought I would share then with you. There’s a bit more than you would think. The monologue is about 3 1/2 minutes long, but there is so much that can go on in those 3 or 4 minutes.

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  • stage presence
  • eyes- focus on object of scene or into eyes of person, not wandering around room. Connect with other character!
  • stand up straight
  • be aware of props
  • slow words down. No need to rush unless it is characterized that way.
  • vocal inflation-use it! No robots!
  • stop sighing or “catching breath”. Calm down.
  • be aware of hand movements
  • know your words! Consonants- even’ful (evenTful), worl’s (worlDs). [Make sure you know your accent and it’s words]
  • nervous laughter (can’t tell) or is that the character? Make it look strong and purposeful
  • shrugging- don’t do because there is no movement
  • head- voice not thrown to camera when turned, be aware. Maybe turn head on a silence.
  • if skipped a section, keep going, don’t look back.
  • no need to shout! Inside voice. It’s a conversation, not a stage. They have mics.
  • know how to use your props (instruments)
  • “um…uh” NO!!!
  • why take off jacket? If you are hot, don’t wear one (unless part of scene) Just a nervous gesture?
  • Don’t be afraid to react
  • slapstick? Sell it! don’t go half way.
  • keep voice strong, unless is character
  • watch makeup- open eyes, not closed with black liner
  • clothing- not too tight! can show off unwanted features on body.
  • hold head up! don’t look down or hold head down but look up.

About 10 of the 30 in people in the class tended to do something with their jacket, usually take it off and put it on the back of the chair that was on stage. I found that very annoying. I just didn’t get it. It was usually the people who didn’t have a specific character and just needed something physical to do. One guy, who was amazing, rapped it. Yep. Rapped a Shakespeare monologue. And it was amazing. Look it up at the apple app store. Just type in “San Joe” and it should be the first app. Or, go to the website  http://www.reverbnation.com/680532

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I did a fashion show last year at a local community college in Stockton. I have been asked to do it again this year. I informed them I have since signed and they needed to know if my agent was okay with pictures being used freely within the college to promote the design, designer, or program. I have, well my mom, been messaging my agent to make sure it was okay and to see if they knew about the work I have done and if I owed them any money from when I was paid for the commercial. They actually never did answer the question of the pictures. I was paid for being in the commercial, but my agent wasn’t paid. I never told them or questioned if they should have been paid. Turns out… no. They didn’t need to be paid. They only get paid if they sign me up for the job, then they set it up so they  get paid. I booked the commercial through a website. I felt really guilty for a while because I didn’t know if I owed my agent money. I’m glad I didn’t and we brought it up.

“Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.” -Henery David Thoreau

Alright. I’ll just give a play-by-play of the days.

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I think I know where this is. Off to the left is to get to the San Bernardino Freeway.

Friday- Left house at 11 am. We planned on leaving at 9, but things just took more time than we thought. As we got further down the road, we realized we wouldn’t make it to my dad’s cousins house in Fullerton, get ready, and drive back north an hour. We would have to stop somewhere to get ready and go straight to the party. I hope this ends up somewhere famous, because it’s kinda too funny to not tell. We stopped at, essentially, a truck stop in Bakersfield and got ready in the shower room. My mom sweet talked one of the ladies to let us use a shower room free of charge. Normally you pay like $8 to use the shower. All we did was just change our clothes and do our makeup. An hour later, we emerge from the showers at a truck stop wearing gala dresses and our faces all done up and the jewelry and the everything…walking through the building with truckers and tourists and travel-weary families starring and whistling at us. Here’s the thing. My dress was skin-tight. I had trouble breathing standing up. How was I supposed to sit in a car for 3 more hours? I had to keep the back unzipped. Normally, that would be fine, and it was… Until we found the house and they had free valet. Yeah. The guy opened my door, and I couldn’t get out until my mom came over to zip me up as soon as I stood up. So, that was kinda awkward. The house hosting the party was Michael Scotts. According to IMDb, he is a major director of 37 titles and producer of 17 in Hollywood. His house is in a gated community in Beverly Hills, same neighborhood as Oprah, and must have cost at least $17 million. I mean, his pool house had a game room, 2 bedrooms, a kitchen, a bowling alley, spa room, mineral bath, and so much more. His property included a full tennis court, a full basketball court, a volley ball pit, a swimming pool, 3 hot tubs, and overlooked directly onto Hollywood and Los Angeles. We socialized for about 1 1/2 hours, until 9, and then they served a buffet dinner of dishes from around the world. At about 10:30, we had a small ceremony where we received our official sash and certificate dubbing us as our countries representative for the pageant. We took pictures for about an hour in a few different spots, and then we were free to leave, and boy did we. My mom and I were exhausted, and we still had an hours drive to get to Janet’s house, change, wash our faces, get settled, not to mention meeting her for the first time ever, all that jazz. We got to her house at about 1 am and said very short ‘hello’s and went to bed.

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This isn’t the house it was at, but this looks very much like it. It was 2 stories and was the same style.

Saturday- If you don’t already know it, my brother is a Marine. He is currently training near San Diego, CA, which is about 2 1/2 hours south of Los Angeles. We were staying an hour south of Los Angeles, making him about an hour away. He was allowed weekend liberty, free time off base for a limited time on the weekend. How could we pass on that opportunity of seeing him when he is that close and free for a day or two? We picked up him and his best buddy at about 10 am and spent the day at Disneyland, about 20 minutes away from our home base. His best friend, Lucas, lives in Minnesota and had never been to Disneyland. We had to take him. It’s a given when you are so close and we are oh so experienced. So, we did Disneyland and we did it good. By that I mean we did all the necessary rides for him to say he had the best experience he could. Enchanted Tiki Room, Jungle Cruise, Indiana Jones Adventure, Tarzan’s Treehouse, Pirates of the Caribbean, Haunted Mansion, Space Mountain, Star Tours, Buzz Lightyear Astro Blaster, It’s a Small world, and I don’t think it counts as a ride, but we also rode the train that goes around the park. Funny story about that. While on the train, there are a few tunnels. In the tunnels are small scenes, I guess you would call them. Just things that keep your entertainment so you aren’t in a black tunnel for 5 minutes straight. We went though the tunnel with the grand canyon and the dinosaurs. By the time we got out, I was the only one awake out of the four of us! My mom, Jordan, and Lucas had all fallen asleep in their seats. I started laughing, which woke my mom up and she woke Jordan up and he woke Lucas up. We were all so beat, Jordan and Lucas from night watch and training and Mom and I from not getting to sleep until 2 am. They had breakfast before we picked them up and we grabbed food at McDonald’s outside the park at about 4 and dinner at Subway on the way home. We left the park at about 10, grabbed dinner, and drove home to Janet’s house. Cousin Janet has 2 spare bedrooms and had set up two beds in each room. Mom and I shared a room and the boys shared a room.

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Not my picture, but this is on Main Street. I did take some pictures, but they are on my dad’s phone.

Oh! I forgot to add something about that day but I don’t feel like rearranging everything to try and fit it all in. We cannot go anywhere without knowing someone. Almost always, we run into someone we know somehow. At Disneyland, we ran into Jordan’s friend from high school, Jeremy. Jeremy is going to film school in Hollywood, living in Los Angeles and is addicted to Disney. He was there with his parents. That’s not all. I have a cousin whom I have briefly met once at his sisters wedding. While we were on the tram that takes you from the parking lot to the park entrance, I was on my dad’s phone (we had traded for the week so I would have a GPS and internet access). He was tagged as at Disneyland with a friend also. We didn’t run into him, but he was there. I was 350 miles away from home and still running into people we know. I’ve run into people in San Fransisco which in 140 miles from home. My mom ran into someone in Alaska while on a cruise who knew my grandmother on my dads side. My great-grandmother ran into a student in some random state in central US while traveling across country, the both of them. She had spoken at his class 2 weeks before.

Sunday-I had an interview with the judges at 1 pm at a restaurant in Beverly Hills. We decided to sleep in a bit and didn’t leave the house until about 11:30. Cousin Janet had made us all bacon and French toast. Lucas and Jordan were so happy! Homemade meals, warm beds in a warm house. It was great for me to see them so happy, knowing and not exactly knowing what they’ve been through in the past weeks and months, being homesick and tired of only seeing a handful of people. They really appreciated the touch of home and family. Anyway, I had the interview. Basically it was like speed dating, but it was interviews for the judges to pick the top 15. We had 3 minutes to talk to that judge before we moved onto the next. There were about 8 or 10 judges and then we were done for they day. They guys and Mom waited up the street at a diner until I was done. Their liberty ended at 6 pm, and I was done at about 2 pm. We were about 2 hours away from their “home”, se we just drove back instead of trying to squeeze in anymore sigh-seeing. After a long good-bye (because we didn’t know when we would see him or them next), we left. Mom and I called it night as soon as we got home, after dealing with some rental car issues. Our rental was acting up that day, so we asked them to exchange it.

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Monday- We finally go to sleep in without setting an alarm! The only thing I had was a rehearsal in the evening. One of the other girls had offered a short practice before rehearsal to show me the basics of the dances so I wouldn’t be completely lost. I had that from about 7-8 and then the group rehearsal at a dance studio at 9. The studio was only 20 minutes away, so I used the extra 40 by buying snacks at a grocery store near the studio. I spent 9-1:30 am in brand new heels and I thought I was going to cry by the time I got to the car to leave my feet hurt so bad. Got to bed at about 3.

My BCBG shoes. I bought them brand new, never been used at a thrift store for $15. They were $130 off the shelf.

Tuesday- This night was different. We had rehearsal from 8:30-10:30. At 11, we were the VIP guest at the hottest club in Hollywood called Supper Club. It was a big deal. I mean, Tuesday nights are their main nights of the week. Chris Brown has a table there every Tuesday night and this night was no exception. So yes, he was there. I will be honest. This place was not my scene and I don’t know why the director chose this place for us to make an appearance, other than publicity. The music was so loud I had a ringing in my ears for an hour after I left. People were smoking and I smelled horrible when I left because of it. There were women coming down from holes in the ceiling ‘silk ribbon’ style wearing ruffled underwear and glittery pasties. The music was horrible rap about sex and weed and drinking. I can see myself going there if I was asked for a specific event, but I would have to think long and hard about it, and I wouldn’t stay very long, like maybe 30 minutes. That might even be pushing it. I stayed for 1 1/2 hours, our minimum time needed.

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Wednesday- For the pageant, we all began wearing a cocktail dress, but I hadn’t gotten mine yet. I went to the directors house in Studio City to get it so I could shorten it a few inches. She said it looked better a bit shorter. So we were there at 10, I left at 10:30, and drove back to Fullerton, an hour away. I had rehearsal that night 9-1:30. So I was in Studio City twice that day, 4 hours total of driving. Doesn’t sound like a big deal, but that’s all I did that day, besides rehearsal.

Thursday- I was surprised, but we didn’t have anything on the agenda for Thursday. No rehearsal, no interviews, no clubbing. Just sleeping in, watching TV, eating whatever I wanted, and going to bed early.

Friday- One of our sponsors for the pageant who does spray tanning from home. I am horribly white, even though I live in California. You would expect me to be tan. The bikini I wore was white. If I went on stage, you could hardly tell I as wearing anything all because the bikini blended in with my skin. So, I got a spray tan. It was kinda awkward. I wasn’t wearing anything on top and a thong on the bottom in front of a woman I have never met. She even insisted I take off the thong because I hadn’t worn the bikini bottoms since August and I might not know where the lines would need to be. Uh, no thanks, I’ll pass and take the chance. You know all those horror stories of spray tans coming out orange? Yeah, not me. Mine came out brown. Dark brown. I went straight to rehearsal after that, too. This stuff makes you feel sticky, like you had just put on sunscreen, but the feeling doesn’t go away. No makeup, no shower, only allowed to wear loose clothing, not even a bra, for 8 hours. I was so embarrassed. The director even said she didn’t recognize me at first. She told me as soon as she did… an hour into rehearsal. It took her an hour to figure out who I was. The last day of rehearsals in the dance studio. While I was in rehearsal, Jordan had called and asked if he and Lucas could hang with us again for the weekend. Yes! So she left and was back, without getting lost I might add, by the time I was done at 12:45. On our way out, we were handed a bag of free items from some of our sponsors: spray tanning supplies, free shirts, free makeup, and a few other things.  We didn’t have time to prepare the rooms for them, so they slept on the couch in the living room, falling asleep watching TV. I showered as soon as I got home. I walked inside, grabbed shorts and a big night shirt and went straight into the shower. I looked and felt so much better after that shower. I wasn’t dark brown anymore. I was a mild golden tan color. And finally went to sleep, happy I didn’t pull an opposite Michael Jackson 2 days before the pageant.

White Ruffle Bikini Swimwear

The bikini top I wore, by Harpari.
Click on picture to be taken to their website.

Saturday- One of the things in the goodie bag was a $25 off card from a clothing store in Santa Monica at the Third Street Promenade near the pier. Sounds good. It’s a good place for Lucas to see. The beach, the pier, the shopping, the typical stereotypical California. So, I go into the shop and the cheapest thing I find is a dress for $160. I had $11 in my purse. Thanks, but no thanks. We ended up window shopping for a while and ended up by the pier. Boys will be boys. They wanted to go swimming in the ocean. It was 55 degrees and cloudy. We walked back to the car so they could grab some dry clothes for when they got out of the water, but they had forgot their overnight bags at the house. No ocean for them. My rehearsal call time was 7:30, so we decided to go early and just see where the theater was. As we were pulling away from our parking spot near the beach, I realized I ran out of one of my prescriptions. I had more at Janet’s house, but that was an hour away and I only had about 1 1/2 hours until my rehearsal. We found a pharmacy and I was able to get more of what I needed. I got to the theater and we ran through the show once from 8-11:30. We wanted to get it done twice, but we ran into staging problems that needed to get fixed and lighting and things just took more time than thought it would.

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Sunday- Show day! We were about 45 minutes early to the theater for a 11:30 call time, so we got McDonalds for breakfast. Jordan and Lucas helped me bring in my things and I said good-bye to them. We were leaving the next day, no more weekend fun and adventures. We rehearsed until 5, had a catered lunch, and then had 6-7 to get ready for a 7:30 curtain. We didn’t actually start until 8:30 because…well… I don’t know why. I was ready on time. Heck, I was ready at 6:15. I didn’t have much to do to get ready. I didn’t have a personal hair stylist and makeup artist do me. The first number, we were in cocktail dresses, and alphabetically by country, we announced our name and country to the audience. Mine was, “Good evening! I’m McKenna Hardy, proudly representing the country from sea to sea, Canada.” They then announced the top 15. Then we had about 4 minutes to change into our bikini and we had a number in that. The top 10 were announced and had a small interview from the judges. Then each person go to do a small runway walk in their bikini’s. After you walked off, you went backstage to change into your evening gown, or gala dress. We did the same runway walk as the bikini’s, and then the top 5 were announced. We did a number with a singer and the walked off stage. When the curtain went down, we went into our opening spots and set before the curtain went up. Top 5 went up and awards were announced, things like best smile, best dancer, best body, miss congeniality. Then they went through the whole 4th runner up all the way to the winner. They also announced all her prizes, which I don’t think was necessary. I felt it was kind of rubbing it in our face that we all lost. If you wanted the audience to know what she won, have the list in the program book. As soon as it was over, I took a few pictures out at the red carpet and I left. My feet hurt, I was tired, I didn’t have anything else going on, no after parties. I was the first person to leave. We got home at bout midnight. Sounds kind of like a fairytale: beautiful dress, didn’t win (first place or a prince), home by midnight. Unfortunately, it stopped there. It didn’t go on to somehow me getting my dreams. It ended with me back in school and work. Back to reality. No more La-La Land. For now.

Opening pose and cocktail dress. You can’t see me in the picture. I’m in the back in the middle, on the baby stage.

My gala dress, or evening dress.

On stage

Monday- We tried to shoot for leaving at 9, but I think it was more like 11. Made some stops here and there for food and restrooms and for my mom to take a nap from driving. We made it home at about 6. First thing I see when I get home is a dirty, messy kitchen with dishes piled up. I spent my night unpacking and washing my sheets and blankets so they seem fresh and clean; any amount of comfort I can get, I’ll take at this point.

Tuesday- My first class starts at 9:30 and I don’t get home until 2. Then I have another class at 6:30 pm. Back to reality. Time to play catch-up.

I’ve been home a week, and I feel that that experience did nothing to me. If it didn’t happen, I would be at the same place I am at now, except we wouldn’t be even more in debt. Nothing has changed. No prize money, no newfound friends. My experience was mainly sore feet, clubbing, and some free stuff, which I didn’t need, I could live without it. I didn’t even meet anyone that could help me in my career, not in a way that I can call them and ask for help or advice. I am being brutally honest here. It’s like I said in the post before this one, I am just that kind of person, I guess. I have been through3 experiences where everyone else felt like it was a family experience, but I always felt like the black sheep. I didn’t have a single relationship that actually lasted after those events were done. It’s just me and how I am, but I’m not even sure what it is in my personality that makes me this way. I do have friends, I just don’t make friends very well, I guess. Maybe I am content with what I have that I don’t want or need more.

Even with all that said, because I know what to expect, I’m already playing with the thought of interviewing for this pageant in 2 or 3 years. I know what to expect, I know how to act, dress, who to talk to and how. I did a lot of watching how other girls did things and maybe that was an advantage to me so I know what to do next time.

Like I said in my last post, this experience wasn’t what expected , but I am kind of sad to be home. I began thinking of how I would execute a plan for moving down to Los Angeles and I realized, if they say yes and after I get a car, I can move into cousin Janet’s house in Fullerton. One hour from Los Angeles, an hour from San Diego, the two places I really wanted to move to. Now I have a possible place right between. Rent would be so much cheaper, already furnished, and since I would pay rent, I wouldn’t have to pay for the utilities and cable. Honestly, all I have to do to is buy a car, get my driver’s license, find a job in Fullerton for rent and insurance, maybe even apply to the closest community college or junior college.

  1. Save about $5,000 for used car.
  2. Get drivers license, buy car.
  3. Move to Fullerton.
  4. Apply and pay for college.
  5. Get job to pay for rent and car insurance.

Mind you, this isn’t going to happen in the next few months. It might not even be until next year in the summer, 1 1/2 years away. That’s fine with me. As long as I still have a contract and I still want to move forward with that goal and career, I’m good.

“Experience is one thing you can’t get for nothing.” -Oscar Wilde

I try to not use a quote more than once. I hope I’m not. I’m not keeping track.

I got back from Los Angeles 4 days ago and boy do I have a big post coming, not that I’ve even started on it yet. Seeing as how I am home, you can easily guess that I didn’t win the pageant, not that I expected to. I didn’t start this game at the beginning like everyone else did. I was at a great disadvantage and I think it played a major, if not the major, part in me not succeeding in this experience. I kind of did this pageant to fulfill my childhood dream. Well, it didn’t fulfill it. It was nowhere near what I expected. I don’t know if my expectations were too high or if I was greatly wrong of what it should have been. I’m not saying it was all a bad experience. I just didn’t take much, if anything except my title, home with me. I took home A, B, and C with me while everyone else took home new friendships, awards, the crown, free items from their personal sponsors, even pictures. I didn’t take a single picture with anyone else during rehearsals. Okay, I took 1. One with 3 of the girls at a dance practice at one of their apartments. It’s on instagram. But it felt like more of a pity picture because those 3 girls are really good friends and I butted into their relationship and I didn’t even last 2 days in their social circle.

Anyway, I don’t want to complain and say all these girls were rude and mean and didn’t try to include me in anything. They did to some degree. Maybe even more, but I didn’t see it or recognize it. This is just one of those things that happens to me. Only me, as far as I can tell. This isn’t the first time I felt like the loner in a group while everybody else plays family or sisters. This is now the 3rd time. A local theater company for teens made me feel that way the first time while they played family. The second was marching band, for 4 years of playing family. And this is the third, but playing sisters. I didn’t leave at the end of each commitment with a single newfound friendship that I have now. I can’t blame any of the groups, as it has happened three times to me, and I haven’t noticed anybody else in any of the groups that it has happened to. I guess people just aren’t my thing.

In the next post, I’ll go into detail of what we did day-to-day and explain everything more. I don’t have a computer right now and am using my sisters. She isn’t home right now but will be soon. I don’t like to hog her computer, especially when I know she isn’t too fond of me using it in the first place.

Right now, I have 3 classes 2 days a week and I will try to pick up more hours at work. Today is the first time working I like 6 weeks, and the first time this year. Speaking of which, yesterday was January 31st, and it was only the 7th whole day home this year. I miss Los Angeles, even though it didn’t turn out up to my standards.

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work. ” -Colin Powell

Holy cow. My schedule went from nearly empty to crazy busy! I don’t remember if I said this, but the cold I caught at the beginning of December turned into pneumonia and bronchitis. I was placed in the hospital from December 30th to January 13th. 2 weeks. 14 days. On January 14th, I started school. At the time, I was at 12 units. Full time and on the Varsity Tennis team. At the end of that day, I decided being on the team isn’t working into my life right now. I dropped the team and joined yoga instead. Hey, I need some way to detox and have a stress relief. I might even join another class. I am now at 10 units. All my classes are on Tuesday and Thursday, with an exception on Wednesday night for 6 weeks of a career guidance class. Fundamentals of Acting, yoga, English, and Career Guidance.

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On the 11th of January, I called my mom, like I did every day in the hospital to see what was new and any news from queen of the Universe. I was needed on January 18th through 27th, almost every day. So, we are now in full “pageant mode” with finding a place to stay, budgeting money for gas and food. I don’t think I already said, but I already bought my dress for the Coronation Ball and Pageant. They both were dresses that as soon as I put on, we knew it was the one. The dress for the ball is a blush pink and the coronation is gold/champagne with glitter.

Sometimes, life is going so well, you stop and think, “life is going pretty good right now. That isn’t right. Something is about to go wrong.” And wrong it did. The car we were planning on taking to L.A. has a suspension problem that has done something to the front wheels, costing about $240 for new tires. Plus, there is something wrong where it looses water from the radiator, but we don’t know where. Alright, we’ll take the other car even though it has horrible gas mileage. Oh, wait. The weights in the wheels are off, causing it to shake when you go over 40 mph. Fine, we’ll just rent a car with better mileage than either of our cars. There. Haha. We solved that one. But wait, there’s more. We don’t have city water, therefor, we have a septic tank. A septic tank needs to be pumped ever 2-3 years, for a family of 4-6. We have a family of 10. It’s been 2 years since it’s been pumped… We have been having major issues. Like when the dishes were being washed last night, all the water didn’t go down the drain and into the tank. It went down the drain and out the toilet, flooding the bathroom. Cost to get the tank pumped? $240. Oh, boy. We figured out how to get that paid for and had that problem fixed today. But wait. There’s more. A 9 night stay at a hotel near Beverly Hills that has 2 beds and a refrigerator? About $70 a night, $740 total. My dad has a cousin who lives in Anaheim, about an hour south of L.A. We asked if we could crash at her place instead of a hotel. She said yes. We are going to have to commute, but that’s fine. we had an almost “what are we going to do now?” moment yesterday morning when I tried on my dress, at the woman’s house who was altering, I already bought and was going to wear for the ball. It didn’t fit around my bust. It was like 2 inches too small. when I was in the hospital, I was on a 3,000 calorie diet because I lost too much weight for my own good and wasn’t gaining it back. Thing is, I was about the same weight yesterday as when I tried on the dress. Why wouldn’t it fit?! And this close to the event! Turns out, the bra I was wearing was too thick to wear under the dress. I can’t wear one. Same with my other dress. It took up about 15 minutes trying to figure out why it didn’t fit and what we could do to fix it and cover up the zipper. Well, it fits and there was little to no alterations needed on either dress. Just the straps on the pink one and fix a loop on the other. I think if I lose like 5 pounds of fat around my belly, it will be more comfortable. The dress fits, but it is terribly tight. I think that’s all that happened. The cars, the tank, the hotel, the dresses. Let’s take this day by day and see how it goes.

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I am a bit worried about my diet. I am eating way too much. I need to lose 5 pounds so I can fit into my dress better. I haven’t done a single ab exercise in weeks and I have 2 days. I think this is coming so fast, I don’t realize it. Like doing a term paper really close to deadline and not being able to do your best work, but it is satisfactory.

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It is very hard to do this pageant on good conscious when I know this money could, and should, go towards other things. The fact that money is being found and problems slowly being solved might be God’s way of saying I am supposed to do this for some reason. Maybe I am supposed to win so we can pay off all the debts. Maybe I am only supposed to do this to become someone’s friend because they will need me later in life. Maybe I am supposed to do this to be introduced to someone who can help me with my career. I don’t know. We don’t know the results or the whys.

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Actually, I also only have 2 days to learn everything about Canada.

“You’ve got to avoid situations that make you uncomfortable.” -Nick Jonas

Yeah. Lot’s of things make me uncomfortable. I try to avoid them. That doesn’t always work.

I have a secret. I am not going to share it. I have already decided to not share it until I win as Queen of the Universe. If I don’t win, then when the time is right. The time is not right yet.

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The director for the pageant called yesterday to voice some concerns about me. I’m not trying to get sponsors, I don’t call, I’m not trying. My mom felt it was necessary to tell her my secret. She was a bit upset that we left her in the dark.

Here’s the thing, I don’t blame her for feeling this way, but I felt it was something I had to do. I can only think of 4 friends of mine who know. I keep it on the very DL.

I don’t want to say much more on this topic.

I have a horrible case of pneumonia right now. The cold I had a few weeks ago took a wrong turn.

I am out of school for the semester. My tennis coach told me that varsity trains on the break every day and he wants me to join, but only after I feel better. I feel fine, but my body is not able to handle physical activities right now. I almost blacked out in class last week after an in-class tournament. I got 3rd place, and then my vision started to fail me as I almost passed out. I need to build up my endurance and stamina starting tomorrow after work.

Ah, work. Hate that subject. Working at Forever 21 is not a bad job, it’s just not what I want to do. I can see how some people would like it, but I’m not one of those people. And that is absolutely fine. I’m just doing this for the money. Some people there are doing it to hopefully climb the ladder in the company. If that means higher pay, I’ll gladly do it, but I don’t have the time. I don’t get many hours of work. I am working 1 4 hour shift this week. Seriously? I have about $1,000 worth of thing I need to pay for in the next month. Two, maybe three dresses expensive dresses, a hotel in Beverly Hills, Christmas presents, gas, rent, school books for next semester, school supplies for next semester. I haven’t really worked in 3 weeks. I had a show and I have had bad pneumonia for the past month. I worked 1 day last week and one this week. (Oh, and we got a new floor set 3 weeks ago, and I have no idea what it is.) This isn’t going to cut it with my finances. I either need a second job or a different job with more hours. I am in no way bashing my job or work. I am just saying I live a kinda expensive life and it is hard to support it on a (very) part-time job.

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More like the end of my day…

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I believe this on is actually in San Francisco. I could be wrong. I’ve only been to this one once, about 4 years ago.