“Every artist was first an amateur.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don’t remember where in my schedule my last post left off. Thursday and Friday I had the fashion show rehearsal and show. Thursday was a rehearsal from 5-9. It wasn’t very organized and my group didn’t get much done. On Friday, we were told to arrive at 9, an hour early to finish off from the night before in addition to the rehearsal. I got there and the theater was locked with a few people waiting outside, mostly my group. They finally opened the door at 9:15 and they gave us free reign of the stage and runway There was about 15 of us in the end, at 10 am. It really helped so many of the girls (and guys) to go again and again on the runway. They got so confident and weren’t scared of it anymore. They got used to it. You could see each time they went it was better than the time before. We had a regular rehearsal until about 1, had a lunch break until 2, and then we waited. Call wasn’t until 7 and the show was at 8, I think…I honestly don’t remember. Anyway, our designer was an alumni and didn’t exactly get first priority. The graduating students did. So when the student’s hair and makeup team didn’t show up, they took ours and gave them to the students. So, we didn’t have a hair and makeup team. Yeah.  We were on our own. I only brought my foundation because I was told I would be covered. The extent of my hair equipment was a hairbrush and one hair tie. There was no way I would have been able to get anything done and be stage ready. I managed to snag a makeup artist 15 minutes before call time for pictures and ended up taking about 30 minutes to do just my eyes. I had no idea what to do about hair, so I brushed it and left it down and parted to the side. After that, I had my pictures done, did the show and the 3rd group and largest with 13 models. There was some confusion about a finale so I actually changed into my street clothes after I had walked, but was then told to change back. I wasn’t the only one. My mom had dropped me off in the morning and was planning on picking me up later that evening after my brothers concert. He ended at the same time as me, and they still had to drive an hour to where I was. I hung out in the designers room. They ended up staying way later than I did, as they have been the week before the show to finish everything on time, cleaning up and organizing.


Saturday, I had a performance of A Midsummer’s Night Dream and it went fantastic. We had rehearsal from 9-2, lunch 2-3, went over some scenes 3-3:30, and show at 4. It went flawlessly and I had such a great time. The cast was amazing. Probably the best cast I have ever been in.

Everything has been going smoothly. And now, I have nothing in my schedule, as far as I know. When you look at my calender book, I have a few things written every day for the first two weeks of this month, and then nothing for the rest. A giant cut off point. I have nothing planned, except working part time at Forever 21, but I have been thinking of quitting. I have been working there for almost two years and I worked 4 hours last week and none this week. I am at a dead end job working 4 hours every other week. I loose money because I pay more for the gas to get there and back than I do working there. I don’t know what to do. I need to be working. I have been turning in apps for other jobs, one of which I really want, but haven’t heard back from yet, and I don’t hear back from them. I don’t want to be unemployed, but I don’t want to work at Forever 21 anymore.

For now, I want to enjoy the summer. I want to travel to Los Angeles. I want to book roles, act, get paid enough to be able to go to another audition. I want to get my drivers license. I want to go on a mini vacation for the weekend. I want to have pool parties and have bon fires with s’mores. I doubt any of that will happen, but it’s nice to think about it.



“Happiness is a direction, not a place.” -Sydney J. Harris

I kind of feel nostalgic. Its the end of the school year, I’m out of school, it’s summer, it’s warm out, we are having pool parties. I feel I can finally relax. After the Queen of the Universe, I went to school the next day. I can finally take a breather.

Okay, these past 2 days were kinda craze for me, as you know from my last post. I finished school on Tuesday with my acting final, which was perfect, my yoga final which was fast and easy, and my English final, which was also fast and easy. Wednesday, I worked 2-6, then went to rehearsal for A Midsummers Night Dream from 6:30-8:30. Thursday, I left home at 10 to Los Angeles. We arrived at CSU Los Angeles at about 3:30. I was set to film at 6 and I didn’t know a single line of my script. I went over it and over it until about 5:30 when one of the other actors showed up. We went over the script a few times and then went to the studio/sound stage where we filmed out scene. We had 6-7 to film it all. We rehearsed in the sound stage for about 20 minutes, got the camera crew ready with the shots, and we filmed until almost 7. I was horrible! Not with my acting, but with my lines. I could not remember half of them. I felt like scum for not knowing my lines. I didn’t go over them enough and I didn’t have them memorized. There were two parts that I had trouble with. We did not go through the scene all the way without stopping. After they called it a wrap,  I literally said, “What? Really? We’re done?” I thought we were going to do it a few more times so they would actually have a usable shot of those two parts. This job was non-paying, but I do get a reel of it. Anyway, my mom and I drove to my dad’s cousin’s house in Fullerton by Disneyland. I just call her my aunt or cousin. We got there at about 8, talked until 9:30, and went to bed. We woke up and were gone by 6:15, got stuck in L.A. morning commute traffic for about an hour, got behind schedule, and arrived home at 12:55 in the afternoon. We grabbed food and left, again, by 1:20. I had a fitting at 3 in Stockton for a fashion show I will be in next weekend. I got there at  2:50, tried on clothes for an hour, and then had a modeling workshop for the models in the show from 4-6. We thought it would have been longer because last year, it went like almost two hours overtime. We weren’t expecting to be home that early. Well, my three younger sisters had a concert that started at 7. We went to the concert, missing the first two groups, but before all the groups did a combined song for choir, and then the band. I left, went to Walmart, and was finally home from the two day’s travel. We had rented a car for the better gas mileage  and we were actually the first people to rent it. It was new, off the lot. We put almost 800 miles on it. In two days. Today, I had a rehearsal from 11-2 for A Midsummer, but I didn’t go. I had a really bad asthma attack an hour before I had to leave. Plus, I was tired. I ended up taking a 5 hour nap. When I woke up, there was a pool party going on for the high school choir. I knew a few people in it, so I said hi and then went back inside and just watched movies.


My diet had been shot these last 3 days. I just could not eat healthy. It is hard to find grocery stores when you don’t know the town. We did stop at one on the way home from Los Angeles and I got a few apples and bananas. But other than that, I was eating KFC and drinking sodas. Actually, I didn’t eat much. On Thursday, I had a peanut butter an honey sandwich for breakfast, an egg salad sandwich for lunch, and grazed on some panda express rice and pork for dinner. Next day, I ended up eating 4 bananas for breakfast, KFC chicken bowl and a soda for lunch, and grazed the rest of the day on jerky, pretzels, nuts, and Triscuit crackers. Tomato and sweet basil. They tasted like pizza and I finished the rest of the box today. Amazing. Today was 4 bananas and nuts, then I slept for 5 hours, had lots of soda, spaghetti with a little cheese on it, and more soda. I need to be careful. Almost all my acne is from a bad diet. The other part is generally from sleeping in my makeup, which I have been doing recently. It’s so hard to eat healthy when you don’t have money. We started a garden, but it won’t start producing food for about a 6-8 weeks.


My schedule went from super busy with finals on Tuesday, work and rehearsal Wednesday, traveling and filming on Thursday, traveling and fitting/workshop and a concert on Friday, to only having rehearsals in the evenings. And the fashion rehearsal and shows, fashion and Shakespeare, this weekend. Then my schedule is completely open. There is nothing in my schedule, except for work once or twice a week. I love being busy with stuff to do, but I also love taking a breather, taking a 5 hour nap without worrying if I should be studying or memorizing something instead of sleeping. But doing that for the next 3 months? Not my cup of tea. I’d rather enjoy it for just a few days at a time.


I do have a few goals for this summer and I’m not doing any shows because they are a bit too raunchy for me. I need something to do! Some paying jobs. My part-time job here is horribly part-time. I worked 4 hours this week. I need more hours for more money so I can actually go on auditions to make money to go on more.