“A positive attitude can really make dreams come true – it did for me.” -David Bailey

The last time I was in Los Angeles, I was the Queen of the Universe Pageant in Beverly Hills at the Saban Theater. While I was in rehearsals and backstage,w e had a film crew for behind the scenes footage. Here is a video from Infinity Media. I’m not sure if it is a teaser video or if this is all they are going to post. I love this video and I am excited by this. It actually got my heart racing and my adrenalin pumping when I saw it!

You can see me for a second here and there but the main one I saw was at 2:04, when I walk onto stage through a curtain in my champagne/blush evening gown.


“Sleep is the best meditation.” -Dalai Lama

So, this week has pretty much not been the best for me, but not horrible.

Tuesday- I thought that because I didn’t do my story on Thursday, I would go on Tuesday. I spend all weekend thinking of which story to tell. We didn’t do a part 2. We just didn’t get to go if we didn’t go on Thursday. We were supposed to have picked out a 3 minute monologue and show the teacher in class. I didn’t have one, so I picked a random one out of a book he had in class. We need half of it memorized by Thursday. Normally, he would give is like 4 weeks to memorize it. Nope. 1 week for this one. I have the hardest time memorizing things. My best friend usually drives us over to the other campus a few miles away for our next class, yoga. During acting, I got a text from her saying she was going to the ER because her side was hurting. So, I don’t have a ride to class and my best friend is in the ER and I have no idea why. I missed yoga class and hung out in my sisters choir class, which was actually awesome. I didn’t have anything to do, so I sang with them and stayed after class a bit to talk to friends I don’t normally see. (I almost want to ditch yoga every time just to see these people. I miss them!) I got home late, made dinner, and then went to my English class. It wasn’t that bad. We had our first presentation that preps us for the final in a month. We have 9 and I am doing one of them. I still haven’t turned in my essay I emailed to my professor last week. It counts as turned in, but he can’t grade it unless I give him a paper copy. I called my friend later that night and she found out she has a kidney infection. Yikes.


Wednesday- I took my brother to the airport in the Bay Area. we left home at 3 and his flight left at 6. we got there with an hour for him to get though security. We got home at 6:45. My mom leaves at 6:30 to take kids to school, which starts at 7. They were still home and looked like they just woke up. And the car wasn’t in the drive way. My mom had to drop Dad off at work because we had his car and she needed the other one to take kids to school. As she was driving home, something happened to the car and it wouldn’t steer all of a sudden and would hardly move. She managed to pull into a parking lot and walked home. At 5:45 am. In the rain. For 1 1/2 miles. They had to wait until we got home before they could leave. They all missed their first class by the time they got to school. She got the car towed to the dealer. turns out the belt that moves the fluids in the engine broke. If she tried to drive the car all the way home, it would have completely ruined the engine. So, we figured out how to manage the money and finances and pay for it to get fixed. All $1,200 of it. For a simple belt. They have to take apart the engine to reach it. Any way. We got home and almost 7 and I went back to sleep at about 9. I woke up at 1 and started and finished the research for my English essay due next Tuesday. I showered and went to church. All we did was pass out fliers in the neighborhood behind the church. About half way through, about 4 fire trucks and 8 police cars speed by with sirens wailing and stop about a mile down the road. I have a bunch of 6 year olds with me in a sketchy neighborhood and now this. I look at the news and there is another standoff down the road. My town was in the news for one about 3 miles from my church for a standoff that ended in the guy setting his apartment on fire, committing suicide, and burning 4 apartments down.


Thursday is a full day of classes, faking a monologue, and taking notes on two presentations.

Friday- I need to make up my yoga class. Then go to my school production of Grease. I’m excited for that. Oh, and I get paid. I hate to admit it, but I over drew my bank account two weeks ago. I’m waiting for my account to clear the fee so I can buy the Grease ticket and a ticket to see another show my friend is in. The second show is in April, but they are almost sold out. I’m even more excited to see that one than Grease.


Saturday, I work 5pm-12am.

Monday- I have an audition for one-act plays at school. I kind of don’t want to, but it doesn’t hurt to try.

I have a monologue due tomorrow, a presentation due Tuesday next week, filming our monologues next Thursday, an essay due the week after that on Tuesday.

On Tuesday, my mom got a call from our agent. We had updated our pictures and stats on the websites and she was looking at them. She pretty much told us, in her own way, that because my sister and I are 2 inches too short to model, we don’t have a chance. Nobody will consider us for anything because the first thing they look at is our height, on our resumes. Basically, I don’t have a chance of being  a model. I kind of feel that she might drop us. She didn’t say it, but what else is she going to do. There’s no point of having a modeling contract if we can’t model. We are going to see if she can switch us to the acting division of the agency. You can be any body type to act.

So, right now I am trying to memorize 2 minutes worth of words, which is one of the hardest things for me. I’ve been typing the same sentences over and over for the last hour, and I only sort of have the first, of five, paragraph memorized. I am horribly tired. I slept 2 hours last night and then another 4 hours when I got home. I might just post this and go to sleep. I’ll try to wake up early and focus on this monologue again before class at 9:30.

I’m sorry if this post if all over the place and doesn’t make sense at times. I’ll try to do another update in a few days. See how things go.


“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” -Martin Luther King, Jr.

I am really bummed right now. Really, really, really bummed. It is currently a time called “pilot season” in the film and T.V. industry. It is when they cast and film the pilots to new T.V. shows or seasons. Then they show then to the producers or executives to see if the show will stick so they can keep filming, usually an episode a week. My point is that right now, I should be going on many, many auditions. But as far as I know, I don’t have a single one on the line up. This sucks! Maybe it’s for a good reason I just don’t know. That’s what I am really hoping.


About a week ago, I auditioned for a student film at the community college I go to. I was leaving acting class and I passed by the recording studio and saw my friend whom I know from the crew at Modesto Performing Arts. He was in charge of auditions for a film or short and wanted me to audition. I will pretty much audition for anything I can get my hands on if I don’t have an audience. It was just me and him and a camera. It doesn’t hurt to audition and try. What’s the worst that can happen? They say no. Well, you have a  no if you don’t audition. The best thing is they give you a role or, even better, write you a role. So I auditioned for a part and then he asked me to read a different role, because he has me in mind when he read through the script. That. Is. Awesome. I don’t care if I don’t get that part, or even a  part at all (Okay, I’m lying.), but just being though of as the right person for a specific role for anything means someone has confidence that I can portray a character and I am not forgotten as an actress (Even if it is my friend and it is a student film at a junior college). So, I should get a call in the next few weeks and it shoots over the first two months of summer.


I was asked to do the fashion show at a college about an hour away, the same on this time last year. I still don’t have a date for the auditions yet. I guess that makes me nervous, only because I just like knowing these things when a person asks. I do have people from my acting class ask me if/when I have auditions and for what and where. I think it’s awesome.

Speaking of acting class, we are doing a story time where we have to talk about a time we were scared or frightened in our life. It’s to prepare us for a serious monologue, the next assignment. Most of the semester has been comical or only slightly serious. We’ve done the Shakespeare “Seven Ages of Man” and a 3 minute interactive scene with one other person, along with silly exercises. Most of the class went on Thursday with their story, but I haven’t gone yet. I’ll go on Tuesday and I have no idea what I am going to say. It got pretty emotional and there were some tears. Overall, my class is really good at telling stories. The ones that I’m thinking of aren’t long stories or hardly even a story. As I was listening to all these stories, I realized that, from the stories, fear/being scared is almost always present because you don’t know what’s going to happen next. What should you do, what should they do, are they going to live, am I going to live, go to jail, be alone. There were some really powerful stories told and you would never expect that person went through that.

My older sister did a project for one of her classes and she had to research diet myths and holy cow, I just about went vegan/raw diet. I still am in that I’ve stopped eating processed foods (mostly) and stopped dairy products (except for the few bites of chocolate ice cream a few nights ago). The thought of the diet change is everything I eat should be coming off God’s green Earth. Anything else is not good for you. Processed, chemicals, no. All your body needs is fruits, veggies, nuts, and meat.  Some may argue meat, but I think meat is acceptable, as long as there is no hormones and all that stuff than makes chickens twice as big, twice as fast. I haven’t been the best about my food choices, but it’s much better than before. The current food pyramid is so wrong. Fruits and veggies should make up like, 75% of your diet and the other 25% is proteins in nuts, beans, meat. Changing my diet, I’ve noticed my belly isn’t bloated and is flatter. I know, weird. It’s usually better in the morning and gets worse through the day. I’m working on it with exercise, though. Yoga twice a week. I’ve been eating lots of apples and oranges. Apples are on sale and we have an orange tree. Grapefruit is really good with a bit of sugar on it. (I think sugar is acceptable because it is natural. You just need to use it sparingly and in moderation.) I’ve been having longer shifts at work, so I usually make a peanut butter and strawberry or boysenberry preserve sandwich so I don’t have to buy Panda Express. However, PB and J sandwiches are also not healthy. Added sugar to all three products, and the bread is not in the diet thought.


I updated my portfolio, but I haven’t put any on here yet. I’m happy with how they turned out, but not ecstatic. So, I am expecting a call for a student film, have an audition TBA, and am focusing on school.

I have some monologues picked out that I might record and post onto YouTube and on here. I’ve only recorded myself once and I’m not sure how I like it. I know I need to see what I look like, though. I have some short ones about 20 seconds to a minute and some longer ones about one to three minutes.  What do you think?

Oh, and today is my birthday. No longer a teenager. Now, I’m officially an adult, at 20. (Ew.)