“Do what you love and the money will follow.” -Marsha Sinetar

Life has gone up hill and then down hill very quick.

And I have decided, because of this amazing mood I am in (note the sarcastic tone), I’ll go ahead and tell you about the commercial and the Jeff Probst show.

Up hill:

It took about 8 hours to film the commercial. And the guest celebrities? Victoria Justice and Ryan Beatty! I will admit I was probably the only person who knew Ryan Beatty, or rather about him. They didn’t tell us she was going to be there until after she had just arrived. And Ryan was already there. I actually recognized him as soon as I saw him. It was really cool! The commercial was with AT&T as a Public Service Announcement to not text and drive. It was my first paying job.

The Jeff Probst Show sent a limo bus to pick us up. It took 8 hours to drive down because we made a stop near San Francisco to pick up my brother. We arrived at the hotel, The Roosevelt Hotel on Hollywood Boulevard in Hollywood, across the street from the Chinese Theater, a famous movie theater. some of my sisters decided to walk around outside after we got there and it turns out there was a movie premier at the Chinese Theater. And guess who was there? Johnny Depp! They saw him leave the theater and get into his limo. The next morning, we had the limo pick us up and drive us to the studio.We had hair and makeup and wardrobe done. We actually got to keep our wardrobe after, and I absolutely love my dress! We had a about 20 minutes of face time, but they are probably going to edit that down. They had a surprise for us, but I’m not going to say what. You are just going to have to watch on September 1oth to see what it was. And then the 8 hour drive back, but I stayed with my brother.

Down hill:

I don’t know why my mom chose that moment to tell me, but I have to pay for my gas to L.A. from now on. I think that is fair, but I have no money. I have Just over $100. So, yeah. I do have money, but there are other things going into the equation.

Ten days after you sign up for your class, your classes have to be paid off or else they drop you and they give your spot to someone else. My 10th day was Thursday. My classes weren’t paid for because we are in debt. We maxed out the credit card. I don’t mind giving 100% of my paychecks to my parents, but only as long as they had been paying for my gas and school. We can’t afford that anymore. I need to pay for gas and school. My 4 classes that I was going to take cost almost $500. I did apply for a state grant, but they never got back to me. I can’t just call their office. It’s all online. So, I am currently not in school because of the cost.

Here’s the other thing. I was supposed to work on Thursday, but I was leaving that day for L.A., so I was going to call in and use a sick day, and that would have been my third in 2 months. At about 2, I realized I forgot to call in. We were in the process of packing and getting organized to leave all morning. We left at about 12:30 pm, and my shift started at noon. So,  I might be loosing my job. L.A. takes up too much time to work where I do when they don’t allow any leniency and everything is by the book.

Here’s the break down: I might lose my job, and that means no money. My family is past the point of no money and I can’t take any classes this year because of it. I need to pay for my way to and from L.A. from now on, but I might not have a job, so I might not be able to go to L.A. anymore for anything. On top of all this, because of where I live and my proximity to L.A., nobody wants to buy an ad for the program for the pageant I’m going to be in. Half the money was due last week, and I don’t have a penny for it. If they drop me, they will tell my agent I flaked on them because I signed an agreement that I would do everything in my power to get the money and I will get the money. (Granted I only called back 3 people who I sent packets to, but I am so discouraged and I know for a fact they won’t buy an ad because of the economy and I don’t know them or I have an unbelievably awkward relationship with that person. I actually changed the way I walked to class many times in high school so I wouldn’t pass by certain people.) I absolutely can not get that money. If my agent is told I am a flake, I won’t get sent to any auditions or my contract will be dropped, which I guess will solve the money for gas issue because there will be no need for that gas. However, that doesn’t solve the fact that this is what I want to do.

“Do what you love and the money will follow”? No. I can’t do what I love to do because I have no money. I almost don’t even have a job right now because of what I love to do. I am getting sick, mentally and physically, because I can’t do what I love to do.

I’m going to watch a movie and go to bed now, even though it is still early for me. Not even 10 pm.

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