“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” -Walt Disney

Yeah. That’s something I need to work on. My best friend came over this morning at 9, and I wasn’t awake. I woke up from the dogs barking at the gate. She knew I wanted to start working out with her in the mornings, and she usually does with two other friends at a park a few blocks away.  I told her I would start tomorrow with them. I had just woken up. I wasn’t ready to go and she wanted to leave asap. Anyway, I’ll go workout tomorrow with her. So there’s that start.

Today, I started eating healthy, I guess. I want to start eating healthy, because being in shape and lean is 30% diet, 70% exercise. I had a hard boiled egg, a serving of oatmeal with some brown sugar, and a raw carrot. Honesty, I’m kinda not feeling too well. It’s going to have some getting used to not eating anything I want whenever I want. I don’t think I’ll last through till tonight. What do you think?

Yesterday, the guy in Los Angeles, the first acting coach I talked about, assistant called again and asked if we were still interested in his actors boot camp. And we, my older sister and I, said yes. It’s going to cost about $3,000 for the 3 day boot camp plus 2 day’s travel, hotel, gas, food. Pretty sure it isn’t going to happen. And from my point of view, this guy gets paid, by us, $60 an hour per person. He does this workshop, I think, 8 weekends. With a class of 20-35, I think. From what I understand. At $60 an hour. That’s upward of $200,000 for just the workshop/boot camp. Plus his other clients during the week. and that’s just his acting coach professional. I think e does more than just that. And his wife is a producer for Disney Channel. From what I read on his facebook, money is never a problem or obstacle. He wouldn’t understand our dilemma of not having $3,000 to throw around. So there’s almost the start of that, if we can figure out the money. 

In light of this phone call, my sister recommends that I start a youtube channel so I get used to being in front of a camera and learn how to keep a conversation going without there being anyone to talk to. But I don’t know what to do my channel on. Her’s is book reviews, memoirs, and stuff like that. Should I do stuff like that? What do you think? Or should I do monologues? Or talks about things like I do on here? What do you think? Do you think I will even start one? Or is this just talk?

Questions:1) Do you think I’ll follow through on healthy eating? Even just for the rest of today? 2) If I started a Youtube channel, what should it be about? Beauty? Books? Acting? Movies?

Peace, love, and the image of strawberries

“Be who you are and be that well.” -Saint Francis de Sales

I think I know what I have to do to get things rolling. I keep waiting for that perfect audition without leading the life that is demanded. You know what I mean? I’m not dressing for the part. I’m living like a model would. I mean the whole healthy eating, working out, studying the career, working on monologues 24/7 life.

I am friends with someone on Facebook whom I do not know. He requested a friends request because I added BMG Models to my work and I was tagged on their page. Although, I’m pretty sure he isn’t contracted with them. Anyway, he is always posting status updates about flying to New York for an audition, flying to L.A. for head shots, on his way to acting class, on his way to the gym, working on his monologues, looking at scripts. And I want my statuses to be like that. I want to be always on the go with this career, but I’m not playing the part.

I want so badly to move to Los Angeles to be closer to my agent and so I have more opportunity to go to auditions and interviews. But it is so unrealistic. The only way, that I can see, to move down there, is to get a drivers license, save up, transfer stores for work, move with a friend or family member. Thing is, I hardly get paid where I work now. Almost everything revolves around money. I agree that money doesn’t buy happiness, but it sure as heck would make things so much easier. It would solve so many problems. It wouldn’t buy happiness or create it, but it would eliminate the problems and worries.

Yeah. Short blog. What do you think? Does money buy happiness?

Peace, love, and the image of oranges in your head.

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.” -Aristotle

Happiness and being at peace with yourself and your body is not at all my strengths. I know it is something everybody should strive to do, love your body. Just because I know something and I know the outcome of either choice doesn’t mean I am going o go for the right one. If I want a second plate of dinner, I’m going to get it. Just because I know I should love my body doesn’t mean I do. I do love certain things about my body, but I also don’t like certain things. 

I don’t like my hands. I don’t like my feet. I don’t like my nails, in particular, on my hands and feet. I don’t like that I hunch over and that is causing me to be barrel chested. I don’t like my teeth, mainly the color. I don’t like my smile. I don’t like that my ears are attached (that sounds weird). I don’t like that I’m not lean or have abs. I don’t like that I am physically weak. I don’t like my eyebrows.

But there are things I do love about myself.

I love my hair, the color and length. I love my eye color. I love the shape of my lips. I love that my teeth are straight, even though they are starting to get crooked again. Unfortunately, my list pretty much stops there. 

There’s nothing I can do about my feet, hands, my smile, my ears, or my barrel chest. I can get my teeth whitened, fill in my eyebrows with makeup, and workout. But life isn’t that simple. I don’t have the money for cosmetic dentistry, money for expensive makeup, or the equipment to workout on. I know, excuses, excuses, excuses. There is always room for improvement. I am trying to accept myself for the way I am, but I am still a girl. I do girly things. I think girly thoughts. I can be the typical girl. I know there’s nothing I can do to change my body and I should accept myself for the way I am.  I’m working on it. 

I leave you with peace, love, and the image of pineapple in your head. 

“Change brings opportunity.” -Nido Qubein

One of last year’s resolutions was to stop picking at my nails so I can let them grow, and I have accomplished that. The only time I really break that winning streak is after I have a bad audition, I usually rip all my nails to a stub or if it is starting to break anyway.

My point is that I broke one of my bad habits, but it wasn’t one of the hard ones. I was going through all the past pictures I was tagged in on Facebook and I have the worst posture I have ever seen. I don’t sit or stand up straight. I hunch over so bad. And I know it is really bad. It is one of the hings I want to change about myself so bad. I have tried to break it, but that only lasted about 2 weeks before I stopped. And that was about a year ago. I have no idea how to make myself stand and sit up straight. It is so bad that my chest sticks out when I stand up straight. I am becoming barrel chested, and that is something that cannot be reversed. It is so unattractive. It makes me look fatter than I am. I think my back muscles are not strong enough or something. Or it is the effect of wearing a heavy backpack for 6 years. I don’t know, but I need suggestions on how to break this and start standing up straight. Leave your suggestions in the comment box below What are your bad habits and what are habits you broke? I’m interested to know.

With that, I leave you with love, peace, and he image of zucchini in your head.  

“I have never been hurt by what I have not said.” -Calvin Coolidge

But it is so easy to be hurt by what people don’t say. If you don’t get the job, they don’t call you to tell you. They just don’t call. I didn’t get a call.

(I ended up calling in sick for work, but I didn’t say I was sick. I said I couldn’t make it in and would need to use a sick day.)We, My dad, Jordan, and I, left at 5, and got to the house where the audition was over an hour early, so we drove around and went to Target so I could get some hairspray. We went back to the place, I waited for 2 hours in the parlor, did my interview, I thought it went great, and we left. The house was about 10 miles from Rodeo Drive, and my dad has always wanted to go, so we went. We parked a block away near the Beverly Hills sign and walked down Rodeo Drive. My Dad went ballistic when he saw this, but there was a Bugatti Veyron parked on Rodeo Drive. They only made 300 of these cars. 0-60 in 2 seconds, $2 million, top speed 250+ mph. He had such a great time. We didn’t go in any of the stores. We just walked around looking at the cars. 🙂 We say a lot of Porches, BMWs, Mercedes. It’s not just that we saw those, but they were the new models, the 2012’s. Then we went to the Santa Monica Pier. I went there about 2 months ago, as you can see in the older post, but my Dad said he has never really explored that part of L.A. before. We mainly just pass through L.A. to get to Anaheim for Disneyland. We parked about 1/2 mile down the beach from the Pier and walked there, passing through Muscle Beach, which is an area on the beach where fit people work out on the equipment there, like the olympic rings and climbing up the rope and balancing on a rope between bars and pull ups and all that good stuff. Then we walked on the Pier about half way and then went on the beach right next to it. Jordan had brought his swim shorts and played in the water for a while and rode his long board on the bike path and had fun. I sat on the beach and watched. About 30 minutes after we got there, my Mom called me and said I needed to call a number to confirm to be considered to a country. So I called the number she gave me and I talked to the director who said she is going to put my name in for consideration for Miss Canada. She chose 3 people for each country and gave those names and pictures to judges, who will pick the final for each country, and they would call that evening or next morning to let the people know which country they are representing. They didn’t call last night, and it is now just after 1 pm. I still haven’t gotten a call. I don’t think I will be. Anyway, we headed home at about 6, stopped for Taco Bell in the Grapevine, and made it home at 12:30. I finally got to bed at about 1:30, and slept in this morning. I did wake up for about 2 hours when everyone was getting ready for church, but I went back to bed after they left. I feel better, but I need a few more hours and a good shower to feel back at 100%.  I work tomorrow and Friday this week. That’s it. Two shifts last week, two shifts this week. I wish I got more hours, but if i get called in for an audition, it’s hard to get that rearranged with work.

My point with the name of this post is that it is very easy to get hurt, in this business, when you don’t hear back. And it is getting harder for me. I was so sure I was going to get this. And it’s very disappointing that I didn’t. I got my hopes up, and I didn’t get it. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Was I wearing the wrong clothes? Am I not tall enough? Did I do my runway walk wrong for them? Did they see me falter slightly when I walked for them?Because I did, but I was walking so close to the table, I thought they couldn’t see my feet. Maybe it did affect my walking, but I didn’t think so. Was it because they saw me last? Did they see someone right before me who was prettier? What did I do wrong that I could have done differently to have gotten this? It just gets harder every time I get rejected. Maybe it will slowly stop and even out. Maybe there is a turning point where it will stop being hard and disappointing and it will be easier and be no big deal. I think it is worse right now because I know that each trip down to L.A. costs so much and for every time we go down, we can’t pay 2 bills on time for that week, and we get a week behind. And once we get far behind, we have to pay the full amount of a credit card to get out of debt on the bill, but then we are in debt on the credit card. I want to get one of the jobs, any of them, that pay so I can pay back my parents for all the gas and food and hotel costs they have put into this. The winner of the pageant would have won $100,000 in cash and prizes. I know that doesn’t mean they win exactly $100,000, but any amount of money would have helped for me to pay them. I don’t have a chart or anything, but I just want to help them get out of debt on their bills and credit cards and have enough money left over to fix up the house a bit. Put some aside for a family vacation for when Jordan has 10 days off from boot camp. So we can spend those 10 days down south at Disneyland, SeaWorld, Universal Studios, the beach, just hanging out, sightseeing. He leaves in 49 days. and then in camp for 3 months with no communication with his family. Then 10 days off, and back in a specialized boot camp for 3 months, but with communication, I think. And he won’t know until he finishes that one, but he gets sent off to another boot camp for more specialized training in his criteria or department. He doesn’t know where, how long, or any of the details until he finished his second round of camp. My point is, we don’t have any money saved up for that time. Any extra money we get goes toward the credit card bill. It’s only 5 months away, when he got’s out. 5 months to say all we can. For me to save all I can. My parents can’t save any money, there’s no room to. Kelsey can’t and won’t, saying she needs to pay for classes and books, when I know she gets money from the government to pay for it. David is on a fixed income, and that is getting smaller each month. I don’t get enough hours at work and I’m looking for a second job, but that’s risky because I need to sign up for classes and there’s always the risk of me having to call off work to go to L.A. or me quitting because I got the job in L.A. and I need to move for a month or two or whatever. I have lots to think about.

With that story, I leave you with peace, love, and the image of grapes in your head.

“Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude.” -Ralph Marston

I don’t know why I am stressing out about this audition more than the other auditions I’ve done. Maybe because my mom isn’t the one taking me. My Dad and brother are. I spent an hour making food: french toast for breakfast (so it’s already made),  6 PB&J sandwiches, 6 burritos, cut 2 red bell pepper, and baby carrots. we will probably stop somewhere for McDonald’s if and when we get tired of that food.

I made food, did 2 loads of laundry, hung it all up, picked out 2 outfits to bring. I still need to shower, do my hair, and pack. I always pack a lot of useless stuff. I’m a girl, what can I say. I might shower and do my hair tonight, but it is 1:30, and I need to wake up at 3:30 or 4, depending on what I choose. If I do shower tonight, I need to wake up, eat, get dressed, pack, make sure I have everything, get directions.

What I will probably end up packing: makeup bag, foundation bag, lip bag, makeup remover, pictures to give them, Breaking Dawn book, lotion, body spray, hair brush, extra hair ties, extra bobby pins, 2 sets of outfits and jewelery, extra socks, BCBG heels, pink converse chucks, sweatshirt, sunglasses, car charger for phone, cord for phone, cord for iPod, tape adapter for iPod, laptop computer in case we stop by Starbucks, headphones, pens, notebook, a monologue to memorize, another book, my phone, food, water, and anything else I can think of.

What do you pack when you go on a road trip or day trip? Comment below!

-UPDATE-

I misspoke. I am not auditioning for Miss Universe. I am auditioning for Queen of the Universe.

http://www.queenuniversepageant.com/

There is the website.

From what I can tell, this is the first pageant this company is doing. There aren’t any pictures of past events. But looking at their site, it looks like something I want to do.

I know that pretty much every celebrity doesn’t post anything about what they are auditioning for, just what they got, but I like people to be informed about my life.

“All experience is an arch, to build upon.” -Henry B. Adams

 So, yesterday, I got an email that Miss Universe wants me to come in for an audition. Miss Universe. Miss Universe. Miss Universe?! Yeah. That Miss Universe. I think. I’m honestly not too sure. So I looked them up. I usually do some sort of research before auditioning for anything. I look up the company or who is in it, or what it’s for, or what it’s about. So, naturally, I typed in the name of the pageant, Queen of the Universe, and it took me to a site for a lesbian pageant, or something. Women, transvestites, parading in front of a crowd, wearing pasties and thongs. Uh, no thank you. So I declined. They call back today, twice, and asked why. My manager explained that I don’t want to do something like that. They said I looked at the wrong site or something because it is the same company as Miss Universe, but a step down the ladder.( I’ll correct it later when I find out the real name. I forgot right now. I’ll also post the website.) They really want me to go. Like, really, really want me to go, to represent Canada or Scotland, both in my heritage. My manager also asked if I could get a later time, as I live 7 hours north. So I got a noon interview, and I’m leaving at 4 am for an interview for Miss Universe in Beverly Hills!

I have an interview for Miss Universe in the morning! I don’t care if I don’t get it. I mean, it would be the life changing event in my life if I did, but even them calling me and asking me to reconsider is pretty awesome. I mean, I’ve only done 3 fashion shows and 2 photo shoots. I’m already getting calls from high end pageants to ask me to do them. 😀

So, I’m going through my mental checklist, and I realize that I have no clean clothes, I haven’t showered since Tuesday, it’s 8 pm and I haven’t changed out of my pajamas from the night before, and I’m supposed to work tomorrow. Not to mention the radiator exploded last night on the Ford Explorer that we usually take to go South because it has better mileage than the huge 15-seat van. Which means that everybody else wouldn’t have a car, my sister works tomorrow, and they would have to wait for the car rental to open in the morning. I am a mess! The only thing pulled together is I did my nails last night, hot pink. Neon pink, like the color of the paragraph below. Lol.

I’ll start my laundry, shower, and call in sick tomorrow. I absolutely hate lying, but my managers at work don’t know that I have an agent in Los Angeles. They don’t know I am on call 24/7 and I usually have 15 hours warning from a confirmation audition to when I leave to go. They don’t know I’ve been in 3 fashion shows and 2 photo shoots. I’ve had work off those days. I didn’t request them off, I just had those days off. I don’t usually get more than 2 4-hour shifts a week. I can’t tell them I can’t go to work because I have an audition. It’s not acceptable. I know there is a cold going around at work. Or I “just got food poisoning”. Yikes. :/

But we will figure it out later tonight when my mom gets home from her play rehearsal. We might borrow my Great Aunt’s car until they can rent one or my sister will have to walk to work, it’s only 1 1/2 miles up the road.(I’ll do another post when I get more info tonight. I’ll also post the website. I like to be informed about what I get myself into, but nothing is stet in stone unless you sign a contract.)

Excitedly, I leave you with peace, love, and the image of oatmeal in your head. Why oatmeal? Because I can.

“A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.” ― John Lennon

I forgot to mention. I got to meet the other acting coach who my sister was after. He is in the show my mom is in, and we went early I got to meet him. He seems like a very nice guy who knows what he is doing. My mom said there is this one scene where he has to act sea sick, and he does such a good job that some of the others actors start to gag. Funny! Sounds like he really knows how to act and let his colors shine. Who knows, maybe he can teach me how to be confident and not be afraid to embarrass myself. Thing is, it’s been a week and no word from him. That’s all. A quick update.Therefore…

I leave you with peace, love, and the image of carrots in your head.

“I’m competitive with myself. I always try to push past my own borders.” -Tyra Banks

Short random blog.

Even though I am 19, my mom is my manager. She deals with my schedule and auditions and how I’m going to get there and preparations. Her e-mail was hacked and down for almost 2 days before we were able to get it back running again. While it was down, it didn’t receive any mail. It wouldn’t accept it. I have no idea if we got the reality show or if I got the audition for ABC Family or if I was asked to do an audition. Yikes!

I am seriously considering putting a picture page on here. I used to have one until I was harassed by someone and I took all my blogs down. I’ll work on it.

I really want an acting coach, as I know I’m not the best actress because I don’t have any experience, except for one musical last summer. I was talking to a famous acting coach who lives in Los Angeles, via FaceBook. His assistant told me to expect a call from him the next day at 9 am. He never called. 2 weeks later, I get a call from his assistant, out of the blue. Expect a call from him in 2 days at 10 am. He never called. I was stood up, twice, by a famous acting coach. I really like him as a person, but from what I see, he is not acting very professional. That was so unprofessional, I don’t want him as my acting coach. I really did because I have heard amazing and wonderful things about him, and nothing about him being late or missing meetings. I just don’t get it. So my older sister is still messaging him on Facebook to talk about a summer “camp” that he has, but he doesn’t respond. She has also asked the set director for the local theater group that we do, as he is a famous stage director for singers and has worked on many shows and movies. He suggested someone who has an IMDB. He used to live in Los Angeles and worked as an acting coach and agent (I think). I want to work with him too, but I don’t want to message him and say “Hey. I’m Kelsey’s sister and I want to talk to you about helping me with acting. You already know the guy I was TRYING to help me, but he’s MIA. Interested?” and sound too forceful. I really don’t want to name names without their permission.

 What Tyra Banks said is true. When she started modeling at 16 or 17, she was a size 4/6, and that was really skinny for a model. Now, you need to be a size 00. I’m a size 4 right now, and have been for 2 or 3 years, but that’s not good enough anymore. Not fair.

I leave you with peace, love, and the image of doughnuts in your head.